How often do you feel unhappy; once a month, once a week or daily? Do you think that this is the life you have been given to live or there is little point in trying to make it different because something will always come and make things horrible again?

This blog is to acknowledge that for some, the whole of December will be hard. If this is you, I want to give you some ideas that may make it more manageable.

Research suggests (a study carried out by Psychologists at Harvard University) that the benefit of being able to live in the here-and-now is happiness.There you go, you now know the secret to happiness; right?

Stephen Karpman (1968) designed a model to explain three dynamics of social interactions; it is from these three roles that games are played within relationships.

I’m always really careful when giving advice about domestic abuse, as I recognise that fear comes in all shapes and sizes, no one person’s fear is the same as the next and for me to pre-empt the fear when making suggestions in the form of a blog, when not face-to-face with the individual, may come across as though I am discounting its existence.

Do you feel un-nerved or unsettled unless you are making other people happy? I don’t mean by prancing around in a funny outfit and being the amusement for all to enjoy; I’m thinking more about doing things for people, being there for them no-matter-what – being good old reliable you? Is this where you find your happiness?

It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away.

According to Eric Berne, founder of TA, during our childhood, through our experiences of the world, parents and ourselves, we make decisions that form our script.

I am aware that domestic abuse is not solely perpetrated by men to women, however, as I am writing from my experience of working at Hull Women's Aid (HWA), which is an organisation that supports women and children; I have written from this stance.

Being out of control suggests to me, that it is a reaction without thought and decision, where the individual feels as though they are at the mercy of their behaviour – this is problematic as often, these behaviours are destructive to the self or others.Is anger something that can be addressed in therapy?

I hope I have put across my love of TA so far but I'm not wanting this blog to be about my relationship with TA but about how you could also have a relationship with TA; I'm going to tell you about some basic TA theory in hope that you can relate to it and have more insight into your own internal world.

When clients are familiar with the feelings of resentment and frustration at not feeling important in their relationships; their relationships which they prioritise and value, we often discuss a Transactional Analysis (TA) theory of drivers and injunctions.